Day Care Days....

I have been tending children since I was about 10 years old. I was always the neighborhood babysitter!! After I served a mission for the LDS church I was a nanny for a short time. I didn't do it for very long as I was having a hard time adjusting to the "normal" world again. I was so used to being out and among people I felt cooped up at home with the little boy and girl I was tending at the time. I truly missed them though when I left to join the world of Retail in the Floral industry. I was a florist for 20 years!! For the most part I liked that job, and I was seriously lost for a while when I was laid off! A good friend had recently given birth to a baby boy. She was a single mom and needed to go back to work. My sister told me that she was looking for someone to tend her baby. I had been applying for jobs and had no luck, so I thought "what the heck" I can do it for a while. Well I started tending him when he was 7 weeks old and he is now 15 months old.

That period of time has gone by quickly!! I also started tending My niece part time. She started school a few days ago and some one else has taken on the job!! Now I am tending my 5 month old nephew as well as the 15 month old.

At first I felt like tending kids was just something I would do until I found a "real" job. Little did I know how much work it takes to care for a baby. Incredibly I found it satisfying in a way that my retail job never was!! I loved someone and they loved me back. As I changed diapers, sang "wheels on the bus", made bottles, and taught my niece preschool, I LOVED IT!! I am not saying I woke up every morning feeling like a combination Mary Poppins, Nanny Mcphee and Maria from the sound of music... but I did feel good about myself and what I was getting back in this relationship. The best part though was watching Berrett change and grow through it all. He wanted to be a dad, and felt like it was something he could do, but wasn't really sure how to be one. As he spent time with Declan (15 MONTH OLD) he grew to love him deeply. He began to understand wht it feels like to have this little person depending on you. Now he looks forward to times with Jayden (5 month old) as well. I guess what I am trying to say is that we have tasted a small part of what it means to be parents. I can feed a toddler and infant at the same time, no problem!! They are presently both teething and that has its challenges but nothing I can't handle. I am so grateful for this experience. I have yet to do the all night thing, but look forward to that with our own baby. Taking care of these little guys has opened up a new world of wonder!! When you watch a baby go through the different stages, you truly begin to understand what a amazing thing the human mind is. We have watched a little boy go from a infant who sleeps, eats, and fills his diapers.. to a walking, babbling wonder who learns a new word and new skill almost daily!! Who couldn't listen to a baby laugh and not laugh back!! Today I can say that I am grateful, I got laid off!! It helped me find the "mom" inside myself!! I am grateful to the mom's who share their little ones with me and trust me to care for them!!

To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven

To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven....

I will admit that my first exposure to the scripture above came about because of a oldie but goodie playing on my parents 8-track in the family station wagon.  It was performed by the Byrds and it was called "Turn! Turn! turn!".  It was written based upon the scripture from Ecclesiastes.  I know I am "dating" myself by one- mentioning this song. Two- mentioning a 8- track player, and three- mentioning a station wagon!!  Although ours was super cool, it was patriotic blue, with red, white and blue curtains in the side windows in the very back, and we had stickers on the side of every state we had ever traveled to!!  I miss that old wagon,where we listened to old songs, took road trips and spent countless hours asking dad " are we there yet?'
Any way back to the present.   When we first started attending our ward in Taylorsville, I was called to be a primary teacher.  How I loved teaching Primary.  Your students love you, they forgive you your short comings and you get to hear about all their amazing adventures!!  Not to mention a few family secrets!! LOL!! Kids tell you EVERYTHING!!  Lucky for the parents though, we don't tend to divulge what we know.
Any way, I taught primary for quite a while.  A little over a year ago, I was called to be 1st counselor in the primary.  I was a little sad to leave my classroom, but had received the impression that this was where Heavenly Father needed me, so I gladly accepted the calling.  I felt so lucky to work with our President Tonya, Ofelia the other counselor and Cynthia the secretary.  Ofelia moved away and I had the chance to get to know Alli who took her place.  We have all worked so well together.  Tonya has taught us so much, and my love for all the children has grown.

Well, recently Tonya was called to be in the Stake Primary Presidency.  I am not sure how the others in the presidency felt, but I was so sad that we were losing Tonya and not sure what would happen to the rest of us.   We knew that changes would be made, and we were not sure what they would be.  I found myself praying that what ever the Lord desired for me, that I would be at peace with it. 
Last Sunday, the bishop called me to be the Primary President. I was sustained and set a part today.
I thought I would feel overwhelmed, and I have had those moments.  What I didn't expect to feel was peaceful.   I don't know why He has asked me to serve in this capacity, but I do know that I have many things to learn, and this is the season for that learning.  I have already learned a little more about inspiration as I prayed to know who to pick as counselors, and secretary.  I felt really good about keeping some of them on, and felt really good about the newest member of our presidency, Alecia.  She indicated to me, that she had felt a few weeks ago, that this would be where she was called to.
I am someone who struggles with shyness, and I am always fearful of new situations.  I love my comfort zone.  I love to know what is expected of me, and I love to be the one following the Leader.  I have had management positions in the work place, but they were always hard for me.   I don't like to be the bad guy!!  The nice part about leading in the church, is we lead differently then we do in the world.  We still have tough decisions to make, but we are led by our Savior who taught that the best leaders are those who serve the ones we lead.   I pray I can do that.
I pray I can be a good servant.  The bishop blessed me today with the strength and energy I needed and a great love for those I will be serving, The Children.  I am grateful for the blessing and for the loving guidance of my Heavenly Father.  I am also grateful for the loving support of my husband and my family.  Its my season to serve, Its my turn to learn, and my turn to grow.  Its a very humbling experience.  

A very great day!!

Today I had the special privilege of seeing my nephew Jayden born.  My younger sister had a c section and asked me to be "dad" or "coach"  lol!!  I don't know how much coaching I did, but it was a amazing experience!! We had to get her to the hospital by 4:30 am and that was not much fun!! Going to bed at 12 and getting up at 2:45 am, is NOT recommended!! But.... Seeing a beautiful spirit born into this world. ... Holding a baby just a few minutes old.. and bonding with him forever.. IS HIGHLY  recommended!!!
I honestly don't know if I will ever see my own child born, It depends on the expectant mom who chooses us, but I will forever be grateful to my little sis who shared this spiritual experience with me!!
I love you Tammy, Blake, Dawsyn and Little Baby Jayden.

Also wanted to share a blog that a dear friend of ours shared today on us and adoption!! Thank you Brooke, it means so much to us that people care about us finding our forever family.  Please feel free to link and share with others!!
http://www.latter-dayhomeschooling.com/2012/04/adoption-and-great-couple.html

I am so grateful for all the choice children in my life!! Nieces and Nephews, Primary children, the Young women of our ward and the ones I worked with at Girls Camp.  For the children I love and tend, and for all the children who have brought so much to both Berrett and My life, we will forever be grateful!!
We both live by this Eternal Message!!

One hundred years from now,
It won't matter what car I drove,
What kind of house I lived in,
How much I had in my bank account,
Nor what my clothes looked like,
But, the world may be a little better
Because I was important in the life of a child

Getting to know Kay

Donny and Kym dancing the tango.. He said this was "the sleeping on the couch" dance... He was right, it was hot!!

As long as I can remember I have been a fan of Donny Osmond!!  When I was young I remember my dad waking us kids up on Saturday mornings.  He would make us breakfast and then turn on the music and organize us into cleaning up the house in preparation for Sunday.  He would let my mom sleep in and he would let each of us children take turns in choosing the music we cleaned to.  I always chose the Osmonds, Donny or Abba.   So my affection for Donny is some how tied into the affection I feel for my dad and my memories of times with my family.
We listened to music on road trips and on short trips anywhere, even just down the road.  Music was a big part of my life.  To this day I dislike driving anywhere in silence and I always clean better with music playing in the back ground.
My Best friend Linda introduced me to ball room dancing.  She used to teach it and when Dancing with the stars started, we would meet up and watch together.  Although I LOVE music, I can't dance worth beans!! Berrett on the other hand, can, and he is good enough to make me look better.
Any way, back to DWTS... Imagine my excitement when Marie Osmond was one of the stars.  Then my excitement was even greater when Donny joined the lineup a few seasons later.  Poor Linda had to listen to me ooh and awww over Donny!! I voted as much as humanly possible and even enlisted friends to let me borrow their email accounts to vote!!  Berrett claims that reason Donny won is because of me!
I am also lucky enough to have a sweet husband who indulges me with Donny concerts and even designed tshirts with "#1 fan of Donny Osmond"  then he wore a shirt that said "Hubby of #1 fan of Donny Osmond"
I once got told at a concert that my husband was the sweetest guy on earth because he willingly wore that tshirt.  I was also challenged by another fan in Vegas when she saw my tshirt.  She said "She was Donny's # 1 fan".  I asked her if she was wearing a tshirt that proclaimed it?  Then she saw Berrett's tshirt and laughed and told me I had to be his number one fan.

So that is just one of the "weird-dom's" of my personality.  But I will always be a fan.  Of course I Love and adore my husband more than Donny!! Who wouldn't?  He adores me, and to Donny I am just another one of those crazy 40 something women in the audience.   But you have to admit for a man in his fifty's who is also a grandpa, Donny is pretty cute!! And can he sing!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yS9E1zr0t10&feature=related

Another Step in our journey..

I had a friend ask if she could post about us on her blog recently.  She wanted to "share" our story with others and hoped it may be a way to reach out to "our" expectant mom.  It got me thinking.  What would I want to share?
Well, I decided to do this in a "interview type format" and hope it may be read with some interest.

How did you meet?
I worked at a flower shop as a designer.  A very artistic young woman started working at the same shop.  We hit it off right away and became good friends.  She was dating Berrett at the time.  We hung out a lot in a group and that is how I got to know Berrett.
Later when things didn't work out between them, he and I continued to hang out.  We became very good friends with similar interests.  Later the sparks began to fly and we began dating.
We were married in May 1999.  The happiest day of our lives... So far!

What led you to adoption?
We had decided early in our marriage that we would let the children come on the Lords Schedule.  Little did we know that His Schedule would be totally different from ours.  We decided after many years of Infertility that we would look into adoption.  About 6 years into our marriage, a friend told us that she had a friend who lived down south, who had a foster son.  This son and his girl friend had discovered that she was pregnant and didn't feel ready to raise the child themselves.  Berrett was hesitant to proceed with this, but let me take the lead, and we began to email them.  They did not want to go through a traditional adoption agency.  After several months of correspondence, we met them for lunch.  We shared family photo's and stories. We talked for two hours, and Berrett grew quieter and quieter. I wanted a child so badly, that it took me a little longer to hear the warning bells that Berrett was hearing all along.  We left the lunch and I suddenly felt so despondent.  We didn't say much to each other but went to a nearby Temple and walked around the grounds and I silently prayed. 
We were in our car headed back to the hotel, when Berrett took my hand and said "honey, you know this isn't right, this is not our baby."   I didn't say anything, just nodded and let the tears fall.  I knew he was right.  It can be hard to hear the answer "no" from Heavenly Father and your husband when you want something so badly.
We went home the next day and emailed the couple and told them we were sorry, but no longer interested.  We heard later that they married and kept their baby.  I put the idea of adoption on the back burner again.
Last year we both started to feel ready again.  We felt a great urgency to look into LDS Family services.  We went to the orientation and began the process.
https://itsaboutlove.org/ial/ct/eng/site/pregnant/
What is the process like? It consists of interviews of the couple together and separately.  Classes about adoption, back ground checks, letters of reference from friends and family, as well as a lengthy one from your bishop.  There are fee's, but it is based on your yearly income and you pay 10% of the last years income.  No less then 4,000.00 and no more then I believe 10,000.00     Plus fee's called "pass through" fee's for the mom.  These are fee's that may help her pay rent, or for groceries, utilities, etc. as she goes through the pregnancy and for a short recovery period after.  The pass through fee's are no more then 3,000.00.  You also have to have a home study and copies of birth certificates, marriage certificates and a current temple recommend. You also answer a lot of questions about yourself.  Things that help the expectant parents to get to know you.

How can we help?
Well, we still need to raise about a 1000.00 for travel expenses and other expenses that are not covered by our adoption loan.  You can help us out by buying our book, http://www.lulu.com/shop/kay-maynard/my-abcs-of-adoption/paperback/product-18881327.html

It is $10.00 and all profits go toward our adoption fund.  It is a simple ABC book that teaches children and their families about the words used in adoption.  Such as Birth parents, or Home study, Etc.
We have also had people just donate directly to us, or through our pay pal account.
hhttps://apps.facebook.com/fundrazr/activity/d49a94fa64564a059841af6f54dfabed?psid=49be26ce4eb1459ab84efb8e5e468b8d
We also need help finding our child.  You can spread the word by telling others that you know of a couple looking to adopt.  We also will have pass along cards and ink pens that have our info on them.   The cards and pens can be left anywhere. Like with Doctors, nurses, hairstylists.  With tips in restaurants.  At your bank, grocery store.  You can give them to Ministers and youth group leaders and teachers.  We are able to adopt anywhere in the USA and the more people who know the better our chances.  This is the link to our profile that you can link on social websites, Face book, emails and Pinterest.
Or anywhere else you think a expectant mom might see it.  Please if you know us personally don't list our last name, phone number or address.  A lot of couples have been victims of adoption scam, and we are trying to protect our privacy.
https://itsaboutlove.org/ial/profiles/26261556/ourMessage.jsf

How long does it take to adopt?
As long as it takes!!!  People have found their child within hours of having their profile up, or years later.  The families who have had the most success, have found their child through some one else.  We have also been advised to be proactive.  To "do" as much as we can to get the word out.  We joined Families Supporting Adoption.
http://familiessupportingadoption.blogspot.com/
Families Supporting Adoption is an organization sponsored by LDS Family Services which advocates a positive view of adoption and provides support to birth parents, adoptive couples, children and all friends of adoption.

I hope that helps others who may be looking at adoption, or wanting to help in some way.
We can't wait to find that little some one who will become a part of our forever family.

Our Letter to Birthparents

Welcome friends:

We know you are making a very difficult decision and we hope that what we have to share may match what you are looking for as possible parents to your child.  With so many couples to choose from it must be overwhelming and we hope learning about us might help.

Our names are Berrett and Kay and we have been married for over 12 years.  We started out as best friends and in time our relationship became romantic. We knew and dated each other for seven years before we were married.  Infertility has led us to adoption but because Berrett was adopted it has always felt like one of the ways we might build our forever family.

Berrett:  From a very young age I knew that I was adopted.  In those days (1970) adoptions were closed.  I never felt unloved or unwanted so not knowing my birth parents was never a issue for me, but I am grateful my children will have the chance to know their birth parents.  I hope my experience will benefit our child or children.

My mom was a teacher and just before I started Kindergarten I asked her about the solar system, we moved the conversation outside with a box of all the athletic balls we owned and she spent at least an hour setting up the solar system.  She made learning fun!  As I grew up I developed several hobbies, including theater.  At age 6 or 7 I was cast in the "Music Man". I continue to pursue acting when time permits. Also from the time I was about 10, I have loved computers and I am lucky enough to earn a living doing what I love in the world of computer technology.  I served a mission in California and continue to consider it a second home.                                                                                                 

 I have many fond memories of trips to Disneyland with my family, and as I grew up continued to love all things Disney. In 1999 I invited Kay to come along with our family on vacation to Disneyland. I knew that her parents had been engaged there and I had my own dreams of getting engaged there.  I knew she was suspicious so I waited a few days into the trip to pop the question. That morning I couldn't eat so I rushed her through breakfast and we left the company of my family. We walked through the park and over to the wishing well next to the castle. I knelt down on one knee and proposed! Luckily she said yes.  Something funny that happened that day was that we did not run into any family, so Kay had to tell some one!! While standing in line at Splash Mountain she told a complete stranger that we were engaged! It was so cute! We spent our honeymoon there and have been back several times with friends and family.  Every time we go we dream of bringing our children to Disneyland and can't wait for the day we can.  There is nothing like the magic of sharing life experiences with a child. I long for those days. I am excited to be a dad and hope to share many moments together as a family.

From the minute I met Kay, I knew that she would be a great mom to our children; she had raised her brother and sister as their “second mom” and was very motherly.  Then as we courted, and she got to know my nieces and nephews, I got to see that motherly instinct even more.  She truly loves them all.  She’s very conscientious of the children she tends and their needs,  and makes sure they are fulfilled.  I have watched her desire to be a mother grow and grow!  She is a special lady who will love unconditionally, and makes our home a warm and inviting place.

Kay:

I am the Oldest living child in my family with 1 brother and 1 sister.  We moved a lot as children because my dad was in the military. We lived in several different states in the US and also for a time in the Netherlands.   My dad left the military when I was 10 to pursue a career as a commercial artist.  Art and Music were always a part of my childhood.  When I was 16 years old my dad was diagnosed with Leukemia and died 6 months later.  This loss effected me greatly and forced me to grow up quickly as my mom and siblings needed my support.  My Brother and Sister still call me their "other mom" and remember me often on Mothers day.

I used to work in the floral industry, but now I stay home and tend a niece and a "unofficial" nephew. He is the son of a dear friend and affectionately calls us aunt Kay and Uncle B.

I love to cook and bake and enjoy entertaining family and friends. I hope to write a cook book some day. I  am a avid reader and have been since I  was 3 years old.  My  earliest memories are of my mom reading "This is the house that Jack built".  I look forward to reading to our children and plan to do so from the day they are born. 

I also served a mission for the LDS church  In New Zealand and continue to serve, In Primary  as first counselor.

We met when Berrett was dating a friend of mine. She worked  with me in the floral shop and I admit that I found Berrett interesting long before we began dating.  We used to hang out in a group and got to know each other well.  After Berrett and his girlfriend broke up, We advanced our friendship into a romance.  He still thinks that our dating was his idea!  Our first official date was to his mission reunion and we spent the entire time talking to each other.  Berrett didn't mean to ignore his former companions but we were feeling the sparks fly between us from that moment on.

Berrett is my best friend and my forever sweetheart.  I know he will be a great dad because he has the greatest capacity to love.  He loves kids, and is not afraid to let go and play!!  That was one of the things I loved about him was his sense of fun and how easily he can let the child in him play.  He is wonderful with his nieces and nephews and enjoys popping into Primary to support me.  If you choose us to be the parents of your child you would be choosing a dad who would always be there for his wife and his kids.  He is a honest, honorable man and I am so lucky to have him as my husband and the father of our children.

Thank you once again for considering our profile.  We hope to form a respectful and loving relationship with you now and in the future.

Berrett and Kay

How we feel about Adoption

I was talking to Berrett's mom and sister yesterday about the whole process of adoption, explaining the documents needed the home study etc. and his mom said "boy things sure have changed!"  She is right it is different from when she adopted Berrett.  Some things are easier, some are harder.   Berrett's story is his own to share, but let me just say it was a different time.
Before we were married we had talked about adoption.  Because of Berrett's history is seemed like a natural way to fill out our family.  We didn't know we would have problems with infertility but we had discussed it.  We had close friends who had struggled and we knew it could happen.  So recently when our case worker asked us how infertility had effected our marriage, we were surprised.  We don't feel like it has effected our marriage in a bad way.  We have turned to each other in our times of frustration, our sadness, but we have never blamed each other.  What happens to one of us, happens to both of us.  We are already a family.  If the Lord does not bless us with children in this life, we are still a family.  We want children, we pray for children, we plead for children, but if it doesn't happen we will go on.  We will continue to build our marriage and pray for understanding and peace.  We understand that family is a Eternal concept and we believe we will be blessed with children in the Lord's time, either in this life or the next.   But we hope, we pray and want children if it is all possible.
There are times, especially for me, when waiting is hard.   I love kids!! I am never happier then when I am in the company of children.  I love my calling in the church with the primary children.  I love the time I spend with the young women at girls camp.  I love my nieces and nephews.  I love to hear their stories, play their games,  hug and comfort them when they cry, laugh with them when they are happy.  I love being a aunt, but I long to be a mommy.   Berrett loves children too.  He adores all the babies in our ward, he points out to me, their cute little outfits, he has a special favorite among our friends who he always wants to hold.  He longs to be a daddy. We talk about books we want to read to them,  places we want to visit.  When we decorate our tree at Christmas, we talk about hanging their ornaments, hanging their stockings, putting cookies out for Santa.  We dream of decorating a nursery, watching them grow and change.  We look forward to the Dance recitals, the sporting events, the science fairs, even the endless home work.  I tease Berrett about protecting a daughter from "those boys" when she begins to date, and he teases me about little boys and the creatures I may find in their pockets.   We dream of our family and we pledge to do our very best for our little family.  We promise to kiss the boo boo's and dry the tears.  We promise to love them with all our hearts, even when they are not so lovable!!  We promise to share the miracle of their births with them and want them to honor their birth parents.  We feel that a child's arrival in this world is a sacred gift, and their own story.  Their adoption will never be a secret, but their story will be sacred.  It will be theirs to share with others as they want or need.  We want them to know how much we love and respect the way they arrived in this world and the people who brought them to us.   We don't know at this time how open we want our adoption to be.  We feel good about cards, letters, email, photo's and sharing information with our child's first family.  We don't know enough about "open adoption " to know how we feel about visits, or continual physical contact.  We really feel like Heavenly Father will guide us to the best plan for us and for our child's first family.   We hope that the people who consider us as parents will understand that we are still learning about the process.  So if you are looking, please understand that we are willing to consider your needs and desires as well.  We want everyone to be as happy about the process as possible.  We also want to protect your privacy and the privacy of our child.   We love this child.. Even before they are here, they are growing in our hearts every day.  We are so grateful for the chance to look into adoption and for the gift that expectant parents may offer to families like ours.   Who ever you are, May the lord bless you at this time and through out your whole lives.