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“A hundred years from now it will not matter what my bank account was, the sort of house I lived in, or the kind of car I drove...but the world may be different because I was important in the life of a child.”

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Getting to know Kay

Donny and Kym dancing the tango.. He said this was "the sleeping on the couch" dance... He was right, it was hot!!

As long as I can remember I have been a fan of Donny Osmond!!  When I was young I remember my dad waking us kids up on Saturday mornings.  He would make us breakfast and then turn on the music and organize us into cleaning up the house in preparation for Sunday.  He would let my mom sleep in and he would let each of us children take turns in choosing the music we cleaned to.  I always chose the Osmonds, Donny or Abba.   So my affection for Donny is some how tied into the affection I feel for my dad and my memories of times with my family.
We listened to music on road trips and on short trips anywhere, even just down the road.  Music was a big part of my life.  To this day I dislike driving anywhere in silence and I always clean better with music playing in the back ground.
My Best friend Linda introduced me to ball room dancing.  She used to teach it and when Dancing with the stars started, we would meet up and watch together.  Although I LOVE music, I can't dance worth beans!! Berrett on the other hand, can, and he is good enough to make me look better.
Any way, back to DWTS... Imagine my excitement when Marie Osmond was one of the stars.  Then my excitement was even greater when Donny joined the lineup a few seasons later.  Poor Linda had to listen to me ooh and awww over Donny!! I voted as much as humanly possible and even enlisted friends to let me borrow their email accounts to vote!!  Berrett claims that reason Donny won is because of me!
I am also lucky enough to have a sweet husband who indulges me with Donny concerts and even designed tshirts with "#1 fan of Donny Osmond"  then he wore a shirt that said "Hubby of #1 fan of Donny Osmond"
I once got told at a concert that my husband was the sweetest guy on earth because he willingly wore that tshirt.  I was also challenged by another fan in Vegas when she saw my tshirt.  She said "She was Donny's # 1 fan".  I asked her if she was wearing a tshirt that proclaimed it?  Then she saw Berrett's tshirt and laughed and told me I had to be his number one fan.

So that is just one of the "weird-dom's" of my personality.  But I will always be a fan.  Of course I Love and adore my husband more than Donny!! Who wouldn't?  He adores me, and to Donny I am just another one of those crazy 40 something women in the audience.   But you have to admit for a man in his fifty's who is also a grandpa, Donny is pretty cute!! And can he sing!!

Monday, March 19, 2012

Another Step in our journey..

I had a friend ask if she could post about us on her blog recently.  She wanted to "share" our story with others and hoped it may be a way to reach out to "our" expectant mom.  It got me thinking.  What would I want to share?
Well, I decided to do this in a "interview type format" and hope it may be read with some interest.

How did you meet?
I worked at a flower shop as a designer.  A very artistic young woman started working at the same shop.  We hit it off right away and became good friends.  She was dating Berrett at the time.  We hung out a lot in a group and that is how I got to know Berrett.
Later when things didn't work out between them, he and I continued to hang out.  We became very good friends with similar interests.  Later the sparks began to fly and we began dating.
We were married in May 1999.  The happiest day of our lives... So far!

What led you to adoption?
We had decided early in our marriage that we would let the children come on the Lords Schedule.  Little did we know that His Schedule would be totally different from ours.  We decided after many years of Infertility that we would look into adoption.  About 6 years into our marriage, a friend told us that she had a friend who lived down south, who had a foster son.  This son and his girl friend had discovered that she was pregnant and didn't feel ready to raise the child themselves.  Berrett was hesitant to proceed with this, but let me take the lead, and we began to email them.  They did not want to go through a traditional adoption agency.  After several months of correspondence, we met them for lunch.  We shared family photo's and stories. We talked for two hours, and Berrett grew quieter and quieter. I wanted a child so badly, that it took me a little longer to hear the warning bells that Berrett was hearing all along.  We left the lunch and I suddenly felt so despondent.  We didn't say much to each other but went to a nearby Temple and walked around the grounds and I silently prayed. 
We were in our car headed back to the hotel, when Berrett took my hand and said "honey, you know this isn't right, this is not our baby."   I didn't say anything, just nodded and let the tears fall.  I knew he was right.  It can be hard to hear the answer "no" from Heavenly Father and your husband when you want something so badly.
We went home the next day and emailed the couple and told them we were sorry, but no longer interested.  We heard later that they married and kept their baby.  I put the idea of adoption on the back burner again.
Last year we both started to feel ready again.  We felt a great urgency to look into LDS Family services.  We went to the orientation and began the process.
What is the process like? It consists of interviews of the couple together and separately.  Classes about adoption, back ground checks, letters of reference from friends and family, as well as a lengthy one from your bishop.  There are fee's, but it is based on your yearly income and you pay 10% of the last years income.  No less then 4,000.00 and no more then I believe 10,000.00     Plus fee's called "pass through" fee's for the mom.  These are fee's that may help her pay rent, or for groceries, utilities, etc. as she goes through the pregnancy and for a short recovery period after.  The pass through fee's are no more then 3,000.00.  You also have to have a home study and copies of birth certificates, marriage certificates and a current temple recommend. You also answer a lot of questions about yourself.  Things that help the expectant parents to get to know you.

How can we help?
Well, we still need to raise about a 1000.00 for travel expenses and other expenses that are not covered by our adoption loan.  You can help us out by buying our book, http://www.lulu.com/shop/kay-maynard/my-abcs-of-adoption/paperback/product-18881327.html

It is $10.00 and all profits go toward our adoption fund.  It is a simple ABC book that teaches children and their families about the words used in adoption.  Such as Birth parents, or Home study, Etc.
We have also had people just donate directly to us, or through our pay pal account.
We also need help finding our child.  You can spread the word by telling others that you know of a couple looking to adopt.  We also will have pass along cards and ink pens that have our info on them.   The cards and pens can be left anywhere. Like with Doctors, nurses, hairstylists.  With tips in restaurants.  At your bank, grocery store.  You can give them to Ministers and youth group leaders and teachers.  We are able to adopt anywhere in the USA and the more people who know the better our chances.  This is the link to our profile that you can link on social websites, Face book, emails and Pinterest.
Or anywhere else you think a expectant mom might see it.  Please if you know us personally don't list our last name, phone number or address.  A lot of couples have been victims of adoption scam, and we are trying to protect our privacy.

How long does it take to adopt?
As long as it takes!!!  People have found their child within hours of having their profile up, or years later.  The families who have had the most success, have found their child through some one else.  We have also been advised to be proactive.  To "do" as much as we can to get the word out.  We joined Families Supporting Adoption.
Families Supporting Adoption is an organization sponsored by LDS Family Services which advocates a positive view of adoption and provides support to birth parents, adoptive couples, children and all friends of adoption.

I hope that helps others who may be looking at adoption, or wanting to help in some way.
We can't wait to find that little some one who will become a part of our forever family.

Sunday, March 4, 2012

Our Letter to Birthparents

Welcome friends:
We know you are making a very difficult decision and we hope that what we have to share may match what you are looking for as possible parents to your child.  With so many couples to choose from it must be overwhelming and we hope learning about us might help.
Our names are Berrett and Kay and we have been married for over 12 years.  We started out as best friends and in time our relationship became romantic. We knew and dated each other for seven years before we were married.  Infertility has led us to adoption but because Berrett was adopted it has always felt like one of the ways we might build our forever family.
Berrett:  From a very young age I knew that I was adopted.  In those days (1970) adoptions were closed.  I never felt unloved or unwanted so not knowing my birth parents was never a issue for me, but I am grateful my children will have the chance to know their birth parents.  I hope my experience will benefit our child or children.
My mom was a teacher and just before I started Kindergarten I asked her about the solar system, we moved the conversation outside with a box of all the athletic balls we owned and she spent at least an hour setting up the solar system.  She made learning fun!  As I grew up I developed several hobbies, including theater.  At age 6 or 7 I was cast in the "Music Man". I continue to pursue acting when time permits. Also from the time I was about 10, I have loved computers and I am lucky enough to earn a living doing what I love in the world of computer technology.  I served a mission in California and continue to consider it a second home.                                                                                                 
 I have many fond memories of trips to Disneyland with my family, and as I grew up continued to love all things Disney. In 1999 I invited Kay to come along with our family on vacation to Disneyland. I knew that her parents had been engaged there and I had my own dreams of getting engaged there.  I knew she was suspicious so I waited a few days into the trip to pop the question. That morning I couldn't eat so I rushed her through breakfast and we left the company of my family. We walked through the park and over to the wishing well next to the castle. I knelt down on one knee and proposed! Luckily she said yes.  Something funny that happened that day was that we did not run into any family, so Kay had to tell some one!! While standing in line at Splash Mountain she told a complete stranger that we were engaged! It was so cute! We spent our honeymoon there and have been back several times with friends and family.  Every time we go we dream of bringing our children to Disneyland and can't wait for the day we can.  There is nothing like the magic of sharing life experiences with a child. I long for those days. I am excited to be a dad and hope to share many moments together as a family.
From the minute I met Kay, I knew that she would be a great mom to our children; she had raised her brother and sister as their “second mom” and was very motherly.  Then as we courted, and she got to know my nieces and nephews, I got to see that motherly instinct even more.  She truly loves them all.  She’s very conscientious of the children she tends and their needs,  and makes sure they are fulfilled.  I have watched her desire to be a mother grow and grow!  She is a special lady who will love unconditionally, and makes our home a warm and inviting place.
I am the Oldest living child in my family with 1 brother and 1 sister.  We moved a lot as children because my dad was in the military. We lived in several different states in the US and also for a time in the Netherlands.   My dad left the military when I was 10 to pursue a career as a commercial artist.  Art and Music were always a part of my childhood.  When I was 16 years old my dad was diagnosed with Leukemia and died 6 months later.  This loss effected me greatly and forced me to grow up quickly as my mom and siblings needed my support.  My Brother and Sister still call me their "other mom" and remember me often on Mothers day.
I used to work in the floral industry, but now I stay home and tend a niece and a "unofficial" nephew. He is the son of a dear friend and affectionately calls us aunt Kay and Uncle B.
I love to cook and bake and enjoy entertaining family and friends. I hope to write a cook book some day. I  am a avid reader and have been since I  was 3 years old.  My  earliest memories are of my mom reading "This is the house that Jack built".  I look forward to reading to our children and plan to do so from the day they are born. 
I also served a mission for the LDS church  In New Zealand and continue to serve, In Primary  as first counselor.
We met when Berrett was dating a friend of mine. She worked  with me in the floral shop and I admit that I found Berrett interesting long before we began dating.  We used to hang out in a group and got to know each other well.  After Berrett and his girlfriend broke up, We advanced our friendship into a romance.  He still thinks that our dating was his idea!  Our first official date was to his mission reunion and we spent the entire time talking to each other.  Berrett didn't mean to ignore his former companions but we were feeling the sparks fly between us from that moment on.
Berrett is my best friend and my forever sweetheart.  I know he will be a great dad because he has the greatest capacity to love.  He loves kids, and is not afraid to let go and play!!  That was one of the things I loved about him was his sense of fun and how easily he can let the child in him play.  He is wonderful with his nieces and nephews and enjoys popping into Primary to support me.  If you choose us to be the parents of your child you would be choosing a dad who would always be there for his wife and his kids.  He is a honest, honorable man and I am so lucky to have him as my husband and the father of our children.
Thank you once again for considering our profile.  We hope to form a respectful and loving relationship with you now and in the future.
Berrett and Kay